by Tova Sherman
In case you haven’t noticed the signs on your daily commute, the world is getting angrier. According to Gallup’s Global Emotions report, negative emotions remained at their highest level in 2023 (tied with 2022). Anger is a large piece of this data, and it remains near an all-time high worldwide.
In North America, air rage incidents have been trending up according to the Federal Aviation Administration. The roads are not faring much better with Consumer Affairs noting that 92 percent of Americans witnessed a road rage incident last year. (If you’re feeling angry at me for using American statistics in this article, that’s okay, you’re clearly not alone!)
So why are people so angry and what can we do about it?
Well there are a lot of good reasons why we are so angry. Well according to Psychology Today:
- We are tired. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about one in three American adults report not getting enough sleep every day.
- We are overwhelmed at work by by emails, and so much more.
- We are afraid. The media plays a big role in this one, although so does reality. According to a media report just watching the news is enough to scare someone.
- We are hot. According to climate.gov, this was the warmest year on record, and that trend is likely to continue.
- We are stuck in a zero-sum game. It feels like often, someone needs to lose for us to win.
- We are broke. Just as things are getting more competitive, they are similarly becoming more expensive.
- We are in pain. According to the 2023 Gallup Global Emotions report, nearly one-third of the world is in physical pain daily and it contributes to anger in the world.
- We have not recovered from the Covid epidemic.
These are all valid reasons for anger. No wonder people are pissed.
It seems like folks are angry at themselves, each other, co-workers, bosses, customers and more. In just one day last week I saw a fight at the supermarket where a cashier and a customer argued over a price and it escalated into a yelling match. (Personally I save my yelling for the beeping demands of the self-checkout machines.) Just after that incident I saw a yelling match at the drive through of a popular fast-food location over a perceived car-cut-off in the order line. To be honest, I fear I am catching the trend as I find myself driving with a small chip on my shoulder and it seems to be getting bigger.
So let’s stop the train (or the car, if we’re sticking with a theme) ask the obvious question: what can I do about this rise in anger, especially my own?
The good news is that you have some control that you may not be exercising that can make a big difference. We all have the capacity for emotional regulation. Most of us practice it at home, especially with our children and our spouses, in an effort to keep the peace. Unfortunately, many of us forget to bring these same skills to the workplace. It’s often easier to let our more ragged emotions out when we know we can leave recipients of our outbursts behind and cool down once 5pm hits. More than ever emotional regulation – or the lack thereof – is something to be discussed openly as a basic tool in your toolkit as a leader, co-worker, influencer or newcomer to a job.
Getting back to our car metaphor; humans need tune- ups. Emotional regulation tune-ups cannot be ignored. You wouldn’t ignore an oil change because it would negatively impact the vehicle’s performance. Ignoring your emotional regulation tune-up has the same result, at work and at home. We need to keep our emotional engine running as smoothly as possible. That requires regular maintenance in the form of greater awareness of the needs and feelings of those around us, efforts to reduce conflict and, and an increase in authentic dialogue that ensures folks are heard, including ourselves. Just like any mechanic, we need the right tools to make this maintenance effective. Here are a few tools you can use to get started:
- Be kind to yourself. Be aware of your self-talk and how you are reacting to others. Just like a mechanic examining a troublesome car engine, often taking a good listen can help you pinpoint the source of the problems.
- S.T.O.P. This simple acronym can be helpful in situations in which you feel triggered. It consists of: Stop, Take a Breath, Observe, Proceed. Anger can be instantaneous, and so can the negative impacts of expressing it at the wrong time or place. Take your foot off the gas, and S.T.O.P.
- Arrange an emotional regulation tune-up in the new year for your team. Just like an oil change, this is something I consider required regular maintenance and a good investment in the long term health of your engine. Which means, you’ll first need to…
- Find a good mechanic. reachAbility has been providing expertise in this area for over two decades and we see the results at all levels. When the tune-up is complete the results are clear, everyone is happier, feeling more inspired, and your office is a “place to be” for job seekers, employees and customers.
If your emotional regulation feels like it’s running on fumes, give us a call at 902-429-5878. We’ll book you in, give a good listen, and leave you and your team with the tools you need to get your own emotional engines purring like they’re fresh off the show room floor.
