No day, week, or month is safe from homophobia, even in 2026 (based on last week’s article, homophobes still refuse to pick up a book). I was reminded of this just last week on Spring Garden Road when I was subject to a hate crime; derogatory hate. This is a regular occurrence and fear. Whether it be shouted cowardly from a moving car, or from various construction workers on construction sites — where supposedly, an outdated document called Equity and Anti-Racism Strategy (July, 2023) resides, with the name of a Minister who no longer holds that position on it — but I digress. I’m here to say that as far as we have come, we are only just past square one.
At reachAbility, Pride Month is always a reminder of the amazing work current and past LGTBQIA2S+ individuals have done to pave the way for rights that heterosexual individuals have never had to question or worry about. In that same breath, I am always thankful for the genuine allies out there. Pride Month is also a grim reminder of how much further we need to go despite the great efforts from those past and present.
Whether it is gatekeeping Pride events or receiving hate when you are just trying to live like everyone else, there is still a great deal we need to do. Everyone, rather. That being said, if you have not read my colleague Blake Hunsley’s piece about gatekeeping at Pride, I want you to go read that first and return to this when you are finished.
I am writing this while wearing my reachAbility hat. The hat I am paid to, and love to wear. In that role, I feel like I need to water this message down, but don’t worry, I won’t.
I wear other hats as well in life. I wear the hat of an uncle to a nephew who once told me he will love anyone he wants, just like his Uncle Markus. I wear the hat of a friend to one of the first individuals I came out to, who I am still friends with to this day. I also wear a hat of a community advocate. I stand up for individuals I support in the community who face similar situations. I was also with someone I care very much for on that day, who is just as upset, angry, and scared as I was, if not more.
When this happened, I became angry and thought of all of these people. I looked for every reason from these individuals to allow me to get even angrier. I wanted to start yelling to all of Spring Garden: “Hello everyone, we have a homophobe over here!” I’ll be honest, part of me still wishes I had. I wish I had done a lot of things.
However, I am out of coins for that scam of a well. If we are still trying to educate everyone with a hateful mentality, the education is not working. I have learned that hate needs to choose to change. Hate cannot be forced into compassion. I do know that people can change if they are willing. I know this for a fact. I see this happen everyday.
To the individual who took the second out of their day to utter such a horrible word to someone, consider this: Spring Garden is the busiest street east of Montreal with about 3250 to 6000 pedestrians walking down the street during each weekday, not including weekends where that number grows even larger. At the time, there were about 50-100 people within earshot. These individuals could be your future employer who remembers you from this interaction, an owner of a business who proudly refuses to serve homophobic individuals, a relative of yours you did not know was in the crowd, or a child who now sees this expression of hate as something acceptable to hand out to whomever they please, whenever they please.
Hate like that can derail your entire life. I’m calling attention to this, but I will not educate you further. I understand why those who stood on the frontlines of Stonewall are tired and may have relaxed their efforts for equality; some individuals just cannot be convinced that hate of any form is unacceptable. As much as qualities like caring, patience, and understanding can be passed down to other generations, hate will also follow that same path. Anyone listening to that hate is given the same choice of passing that hate on or choosing to throw it away.
You are likely wondering how I actually responded to this hate in the moment. I chose to be silent. As did everyone else around me. I know silence normally perpetuates the problem, but it’s not my job to educate you, and change requires good faith engagement. There was, however, a quiet victory in hearing them say it and everyone ignoring them and carrying on with their day.
I took it as a poor attempt at seeking attention. They got attention, but attention that can hinder their employability along with looking like a jerk to about 100 Haligonians.
