by Tova Sherman
It’s clear from the response to my previous post entitled “People Are Pissed” that we’re all feeling the heat all around us, despite the spring chill. If you missed the article I am referring to, we dove into why workplace tension and general irritability seem to be at an all-time high.
But I know identifying the problem is only half the battle. If we know the “why,” we still need to discuss how to tackle the “how”. As in, how do we manage anger before it derails our careers or our culture?
Anger in the office isn’t just unpleasant; it’s a productivity killer. When we’re operating from a place of frustration, our decision making narrows, and our empathy evaporates.
Which is why I want to share four actions you or your team can take to address anger at work, whether you’re feeling it yourself or managing it in others, or both:
1. The “Six-Second” Rule.
You may have heard it before but are you using it? Did you know that when a triggering email lands or a colleague makes a snide comment, your amygdala (the brain’s emotional center) wants to hijack your response. The good news is It takes only about six seconds for those chemical surges to dissipate. Before you hit “reply” or speak up, breathe. Force your logical brain back into the driver’s seat starting with a slow count to six.
2. What did I do?
Most workplace anger experienced by co-workers isn’t about you. What you may be seeing reflects the other person’s stress, looming deadlines, or personal struggles. So, when someone snaps, try shifting your internal narrative from “How dare they speak to me like that?” to “I wonder what’s putting them under this much pressure?” This is what I call “staying curious” and let me tell you genuine curiosity has served me well. To be clear, I am not condoning bad behaviour, but trying to practice the art of diffusing rather than escalating in heated situations.
3. Is Venting a Solution?
We all have that one work friend we call to complain about our day, etc. While venting feels good in the moment, it can easily reinforce the anger loop. Next time you’re frustrated, take three minutes to vent, and then immediately pivot to: “Okay, what is one thing I can do to fix this situation?” Shift the energy from complaining (creating an anger loop) to problem-solving (with the additional benefit that you are modeling behaviour for those around you).
4. Create “Low-Stakes” Exit Points
If you’re a leader, don’t let things go until your team hits the boiling point. Normalize saying, “I’m sensing some frustration in the room—let’s take five minutes”. By giving frustration a controlled exit valve, you prevent it from negatively impacting meetings.
The Bottom Line: Anger is an information signal—it tells us something feels unfair or blocked. But while the feeling is valid, the behavior it produces is an important choice.
We can’t always control the chaos of the modern workplace, but we can absolutely control our temperature within it.
How do you handle expressions of anger as a leader in your workplace? Let us know at info@reachability.org.
