by Evan Dobbie, Markus Fortune, and Blake Hunsley
As “Movember” generates conversations about men’s health, including their mental wellness, one truth seems to stand out: men are often struggling in silence. At reachAbility, we asked a few of our male team members to reflect on what they believe is the biggest challenge facing men’s mental health today.
Evan: The Misinformation Around Masculinity
The root of the crisis begins with a fundamental confusion about masculinity itself. The misinformation surrounding what it means to “be a man,” and how distorted images of masculinity are shaping the mental and emotional landscapes of men across our communities.
The misinformation being spread regarding what masculinity is, and what positive, healthy forms of masculinity look like.
I think a lot of this is related to the mental isolation of so many men today, and how that is being exploited to create conflicts in our communities. These efforts are intended to further divide people on petty wedge issues, hoping that they will remain too distracted by non-issue criticisms to see the greater picture clearly.
Many men know they are facing challenges to accomplishing their goals and finding satisfaction in their lives. While isolated though, we are often vulnerable to misinformation, and having our frustrations twisted and directed towards targets that bear no responsibility for them.
Markus: The Fear of Vulnerability
Disconnection and the fear of being vulnerable.
Vulnerability is a big challenge when it comes to men’s mental health. Vulnerability, in general, just sucks to feel and express. However, it’s like taking out a splinter: it always feels better when what’s inside comes out. A difficult process, but always worth it.
It can be uncomfortable, even painful, but it is necessary.
For many men, this fear acts as a gatekeeper. It stops them from reaching out, from expressing what hurts, from asking for help. Over time, that emotional pressure builds. The challenge is not that men are incapable of vulnerability, but that they are often taught to fear it, avoid it, or see it as a weakness rather than a pathway to healing.
Blake: The Trap of “Real Men Don’t…”
The biggest mental health crisis facing men can be summed up by three words: “real men don’t…” Depending on who you ask, “real men” (whatever that means) don’t hug, they don’t cry, they don’t show vulnerability, they don’t share, and they don’t talk to their closest friends and family members about their feelings.
For many men who grew up hearing: “real men don’t…” this narrow definition of masculinity, acts like a cage.
The narrower one defines what a “real man” is, the fewer options one is left with to express and process their own feelings. Unable to express their emotions or even ask for comfort from a friend, these bottled up feelings grow and change.
Sadness becomes depression. Irritation becomes anger and eventually rage. Fear becomes constant anxiety and hopelessness. Often these “real men” explode in dramatic fashion, or worse, they quietly disappear from our lives altogether. The rest of us are left to wonder how we didn’t see any signs of trouble, but how could we when burying those signs deep down is the thing “real men” are supposed to do?
A Shared Message
Across all three perspectives, one message stands out: men need to talk. They need safe, supportive, and stigma-free spaces to be human. To feel. To emote. To question. To be vulnerable. To redefine masculinity in healthier, more expansive ways.
This Men’s Health Awareness Month, we invite our community to help create spaces for healthy conversations about masculinity, mental health, and the expectations we place on ourselves and each other. Because the more we allow men to show up as their whole selves, the healthier, and more connected, our communities become.
