by Markus Fortune
“In Like A Lamb, Out Like A Lion” usually refers to March’s extremely changeable weather. If conditions are calm, we see the weather as lamb-like. If it’s stormy and turbulent out, March weather is considered to be more like a lion. Just like an unpredictable Nova Scotia March, our moods, our views, and even our confidence in ourselves can also shift with little notice. For self-confidence in particular, the lion/lamb imagery holds well. To be a lamb would mean to have low self-confidence as we may appear quiet, non-threatening, and even small. On the other hand, to be lion-like would mean to have a high self-confidence with an assertive presence that makes others take notice right away. From a facilitator’s point of view, I would like to talk about how one can go from being a lamb to a lion.
Having low self-confidence doesn’t just weigh our moods down, it can make achieving our goals extremely difficult. It can also make expressing our boundaries and sharing our inner feelings a challenge. Routine tasks such as attending a regular work meeting or a social gathering can become difficult. Sometimes just showing up is the hardest, yet seemingly simplest task we can do for ourselves. Framing your attendance as showing up for yourself can make the experience or task easier to complete. “I am showing up for myself by going to this meeting” is something you can tell yourself leading up to the experience or task. Just showing up can have outward and inward benefits. “This meeting is a regular one, I can certainly show up for it and show that I can support my team” is a great way to try and project self-confidence outwards. “I am showing up for this gathering to gently push myself a little; I deserve to go out and take a chance to have a great conversation with someone” is a powerful statement to tell yourself when you need a little nudge of encouragement to get you going.
When we show up, especially for ourselves, we are harnessing the self-confidence we know we have inside. We always have this level of confidence, but it can often become shrouded in doubt and insecurities, causing us to feel like that confidence in ourselves has somehow gone missing. Showing up for ourselves is an appointment we never want to or should miss. And in order to show up for ourselves, we also need to be able to speak up for ourselves.
Finding our voice can be tough, especially for those who are more on the introverted and quiet side. But there are moments when we all need to speak up and make our presence known just like that roaring lion. Leaning on friends and allies for support can be a great start to finding your roar. Remember, we have our chosen family members we can have around us when we are trying to find our voice. Friends, community members, and neighbors can be individuals who can pull that more confident voice out of us with kindness and tact.
Practice can also make a difference when finding our way to say the things we want to and need to say. Speaking to yourself in a mirror, at a wall, or even out loud in a room by yourself can be a great way to practice speaking, especially with those hard to have conversations. Nothing is lost when we practice saying what needs to be said. That way, when the time comes around to speak, we have the words in our tool box at the ready and in the order in which we need to say them.
For those facing barriers that restrict the use of our voice, (nonverbal communication caused by a number of disabilities, for instance) you can find ways to express yourself using the very same tips mentioned above, but in different ways. Remember, there is more than one way to show up for yourself and express what you want and need. Expressing the need for accommodations, for example, is an amazing and direct way to express your self-confidence. If you are feeling unable to express yourself alone, you can lean on those members of your chosen family and/or community members, coworkers, supervisors, etc. to equalize the playing field for yourself and others around you. Self-confidence, once found, is contagious; when we see it happening we want it for ourselves and for those around us who we know are lions to the core, even if they may be temporarily hiding in sheep’s clothing.
Above are just a few tips on how you can find your way with self-confidence. But remember, these may not work for everyone. Part of self-confidence is finding certainty in what works for you, and leaving behind the things that don’t. In the event that these tips do not work for you, moving onto the next tip, trick, or method is as equally effective in improving your self-confidence as discovering the tips that work for you right away. Perseverance, after all, is confidence. And confidence is finding your roar.
